phone calls
There is perhaps nothing I hate more than phone calls. I have thought long and hard about this many times and still cannot come up with a conclusive answer as to why. These spirals of thoughts have often meant I go months without calling a long-distance best friend, or my grandma (who is 92 and also one of my best friends). I think about the phone call a lot, and I become paralyzed in thinking about life, rather than living it.
I’m still not fully over this fear and it comes in waves every few years. But honestly, the worst part of a phone call is the anxiety leading up to it. The phone call itself isn’t actually that bad. Here’s what I hold onto throughout it:
1) Mindset:
Base your interpretations on the words being said rather than the fear from the tone you hear or the body language you imagine. Trust what you experience, and that’s on the other person if the real message isn’t communicated. Whatever happens on it can always be clarified in a follow-up text or communication in a more comfortable manner.
2) Mouthpiece:
If you’re worried about a specific part of the conversation — a hard ask you have to make? Write down two bullets of the phasing you want to use and the ideas you need to get out, and follow that phrasing so you’re not caught off guard with an anxious slip of improvised words. Worried you won’t know how to end the call? Prepare a specific real or fake place you have to be, or thing you have to do, and know that it’s there for you if things get awkward.
3) Follow your feet:
Make the phone call in a space where you feel most comfortable. I know for me, I cannot call someone while there are distinct conversations happening around me, because I completely lose focus of what I’m saying. If you’re better in isolated places, find a single-stall bathroom or a hallway. If you are better with distractions, find a bench outside, a coffee shop to sit in, or turn on the tv in the background.
I am not a mental health professional — each post is meant to provide 3 tips that have helped me through everyday situations with anxiety. Please seek professional help if you need it.